Small Talk
by CrackerTales
Summary: "So you are The Stanford Pines". In which Ford and Wendy had met before the events of "The Last Mabelcorn" And talked for a while (Set after Dungeons, Dungeons and more Dungeons)


Good day, everybody!

So this is because of and idea I had the other day and that would not leave me alone so I had to wrote it. Nothing to intense or sad just a friendly interaction between two characters that had actually not talk at each other on screen so I said "why not"

Before letting you start, I should said Gravity Falls and all its characters are not mine but Alex Hirsch´s. So I am not making any money of this or anything.

*More notes at the end

 **Small Talk  
By CrackerTales**

"Vandalism, Damage to private property, trying to run away from justice, and most important attacking the Deputy"

"My nose still hurts!"

The red-haired teenager suppressed a laugh. Not only the very sound poor Durland made when her fist connected with his face had been funny, but the clumsy wrapped bandages around it were almost too comical to ignore. Poor guy! He had his face all bruised and complained to non-stop! And the girl, should not be giggling because her situation is not the ideal; she is under arrest… all because a little and justifiable attack on the Northwest Mansion.

"You are lucky Preston Northwest had pity on you and won´t present more charges. Otherwise you´ll have to spend the night here" and he smiles trying to be sympathetic, but for the 16 year old it looked more like a mocking smile than a condescendence one "We´ll call you father, Miss Corduroy, he has to come and pay your bail to take you home"

At the idea of her sometimes savage father knowing about her little prank, she twisted her mouth. She loved the man to no end and that was exactly the main reason she didn´t want him to know at all; he was way too intense and emotional and she didn´t want to break his heart. Not to mention she will probably be grounded for the next 5 years at least! So rising her gaze and sounding as sweet as she could manage at the moment she request to make the call herself.

And she did.

Needless to say she call someone different to her dad. She heard the phone ring at least four time before Soos picked up, then, Wendy almost had to yell at him because he refused to interrupt one of Mr. Pines tours just to get her to speak to him. And when she did, she found herself being scolded by no other than her boss (He wasn´t mad she vandalized the Northwest residence, he was disappointed she got caught, that´s all) and we´ll be lying if we said he didn't felt all proud for her doing and at the same time all warmed inside to see his employee trusting him enough to use him to avoid her dad.

The bad news were he was more than busy that day. Tours and tours and people and children and all those persons he could trick and sell stuff with illogically high prices haven´t stop coming since they open the Shack that morning, a strange occurrence given they were not in their best moment, but money is money and he haven't learn to say no to that just yet. Still there was no way he would let her down! So he told her not to worry and wait at the Sheriff office for help will come soon.

More than an hour had passed and young Wendy was starting to get impatient. The constant question on her mind was ' _What the heck is Stan doing?'_ and hoped the answer was not something that would get them both in jail. One and a half hour later she made that phone call, the man decided to show up… of something like that.

For all her knew this man was actually Mr. Pines, just not the one she was expecting, even when he was wearing his clothes. She saw him walking into the station with firm, decided steps and he stood in front of the sheriff´s desk tall and sure with his hands hiding on his back. The fez rested uncomfortably on his head and it was more than noticeable the suit was a little too big on the shoulders. Luckily for him and the young criminal, both the sheriff and the deputy were not the sharpest.

"Mr. Pines" had said no other than the man in charge "Well what a surprise! What brings you here?"

"Well, I…" then the man cleared his throat and apologized for the weird voice that came out of it saying he was being ill lately.

"I came here for the kid" he said leaning on the desk in an overconfident fashion just how he suspected Stanley would do, he was careful though to keep his hands hidden as much as possible "Where is she anyways?"

Sheriff Blubs pointed just behind him and when turning he found himself looking at a tired and irritated teenager who was looking back at him with a half amused gaze

"Oh" he said a little surprised for he didn´t knew exactly what to expect, when his brother had force him to came and pick her up, he didn´t even cared show him a picture or describe her

"Hello!"

"Hey, Mr. Pines" she replied indifferent and went back to the text she was about to send.

"What did she do?"

"Well, Mr. Pines" answered the man behind the desk "We were expecting her father to show up…"

"Her father couldn´t come" he interrupted "he asked me to come in his place"

The Sheriff lips twisted into a smile. He fixed his ever present dark shades and wrote something over the police report. Unlikely of him to be sighing like this, some may say, but it had been a long, long day and he just want to get over it

"It feels a little weird to have you come here on your own Mr. Pines" he said trying to make things a little more enjoyable "Usually we have to drag you here"

At the uncalled comment, Wendy´s rescuer arched his eyebrow and put all his self-control into not face palming. He had to play it cool and not let them notice that he had learn very recently about his huge and permanent criminal record… on this dimension.

"Look, I need to get back to the shack. Can I get the girl and get out of here?"

"First you have to pay her bail"

"Yes of course" and he took out an old leather wallet "How much is it?"

"2000 dollars"

A face of disbelief appeared on the old man´s face while the annoyance that had not left him since he was force to come and cover up for his brother grew considerable. He hold on the wallet and hope they give him enough money to pay for this, otherwise he would have to find another, less legal, way out.

"WHAT ON EARTH DID SHE DO? PUNCH A COP?!" he said over exaggerating his reaction and making sure to have his voice sound as much as his brother´s. It end up sounding like himself mocking Stan, but other than that, all his gestures and body languages were just like the other´s and the red-haired teenager thought that he was a decent actor.

"Yes" answered the sheriff "poor Durland´s face would be blue the rest of the week"

"Well, good thing is Thursday" he said with a grumpy frown and he paid it all on cash. "Let´s go, girl" he said while walking to the exit

"I don't know how she is allowed to work with you, Mr. Pines, everyone close to your little family gets into a lot of trouble, ah?"

But Stanford ignore it, and walk out the door with the teenager quick on his heels.

 **:::**

The way back to the Shack was spend mostly on silence. The relative peaceful town and its folk were little to no distraction to the irritated man who was making up conversations on his mind, same that he planned to have with his brother who was too busy to come for his own employee. She, on the other side, dedicated herself to see through the window the buildings and people she had known since she was a little girl with less cares than now. Her green eyes fell on the blue sky and her red- silky hair flew with the wind that the wide open window let in.

Downtown was left behind and soon the trees took over the scenery. The sight of squirrels, and deer were not uncommon in a place such a Gravity Falls, neither were the thousands of pine trees that have grown there for years and that now had a new and much nicer meaning for her: they were a reminder of her new additional family, the one she could turn on in case of emergency knowing they would not judge but rather share her fun. She was just having this thought when she realized that she was there in the middle of the forest ridding a classic car with a member of said family but that was still a complete stranger.

The first impression had been if not completely good, pretty amusing. Knowing that he was kept a secret for about thirty years made completely reasonable that he had to pose as his brother who was actually posing as him, and the girl thought it was funny, and she was surprised he actually did it, it looked way more like a dare on a childish bet than a favor for a loved one. So far she knew his name, it was the same one she had called her boss for the past years; and that he was some kind of genius whose work took him to this time and place.

"So" she said breaking the silence in which they both had fallen since they leave the Station, her words felt almost out of place and she had trouble making sure she had said them at all "You are The Stanford Pines"

The old man didn´t take his eyes out of the dusty road they traveled but he sight softly and frowned

"Yes, The one and only!"

"Are you mad because Stan took your name?" asked the girl with a teasing feeling on her voice and he didn´t answer but only re-adjust on the car seat. She then decided to continue with her tree gazing

"Of course I am" And he got her attention again "It is my name after all! And I always thought it was supposed to be part of someone´s identity! It was my own and the one people said when they thought of me! It was personal and… sacred, I suppose"

He felt into silence after his little outburst and turn to see the girl next to him with almost embarrassed eyes. Surely she would tell nothing to Stanley! People don´t talk about these kind of things with their bosses, do they?

"Wow" was the only answer the Teenager gave and it sounded too ironical for his taste

"I kinda felt robbed, you know?"

"Well, he did get rid of his own name for you! Heck, he died!"

"It was a sham!"

"But he did it because it was necessary!"

"Necessary? Necessary? He could have perfectly lived his own life without stealing mine!"

"He died! There was funeral service! There is even a newspaper article covering the story, you miserable jerk!" she yelled not caring if he was legally her actual boss or not, little she cared about that "Dipper showed it to me!"

"He is a good boy" said Stanford after a short silence. He couldn´t even explain why he was saying such things and to a girl he had never met before

"He is excited to know you. The Author of the Journals! The one person he obsessed about the whole summer"

"I hope I am what he expected"

"It doesn´t matter! He idolizes you no matter what" and then she took her phone on her hands and answered a message that had just arrived

"What are you doing?" asked him a little defensive but genuinely curious turning quickly to her direction

"I´m telling my friends I got out"

"Are you… writing?"

"Yes. Haven´t they show you a smartphone?"

"Well I have seen Dipper and Mabel with theirs but aren´t you supposed to talk on phones?"

The girl smiled

"I am talking"

"I mean with your voice"

"Well" she said right after pressing send "We talk by writing on our phones now, this way we can have more than one conversation at the same time"

Old grumpy man nodded and stared on the road for a few seconds thinking it was a very useful thing to have. Things had change a lot during the last thirty years and he was still learning about this whole new technologies he was sure he could use for his research

"What else can you do?"

"Well, If you got internet connection you can get into the web"

"Ah"

"You know what the web is, don't you?"

"Of course I know!" he exclaimed almost offended "Internet was already invented on my time!"

"Yeah, but now anyone can use it. Here ask me something!" said the girl with a grin and readjusting herself so she would look him more directly "Anything you want to know!"

Mr. Pines gave it a little thought. There was a lot of things he would like to know, but as always happens, once someone asks, one cannot come with anything decent

"I don't know" he said shrugging "How about who won the Nobel on physics on 1987?"

The girl typed quickly. Only a few seconds later she already got the answers he had requested

"Some guys called J. Georg Bednorz and K. Alexander Müller" she said raising her eyebrow

"Really? What did they do?"

"Something about the superconductivity of the ceramic"

"That´s all? Let me see that!" and he leaned over to see her phone and read the article, he had his brow frowned and re-adjusted the glasses over and over again. For Wendy, it looked like he did not really trusted the words the little screen displayed

"Hmm" he complained "I can´t really read like this"

"LOOK OUT!" screamed the young red-head girl and he quickly turned the wheel with a rather abrupt movement that saved them and the tree they almost hit

"Sorry" he said ashamed twice

"And I thought Stan was a lousy driver!"

"In my defense it´s been years since I drive a car!"

"What? No cars on the other side?"

"They are not quite the same"

And silence took over again. She unlocked her cell phone and stared at the screen with a question forming on her head

"Why 1987?"

"Well" he answered casually "It was the year I wanted to won. I mean I would be thirty-three so I would be old enough to be taken seriously and young enough to do many more things after"

"Thirty-three?" asked the girl doubtfully "But that would mean you guys are like sixty!"

"fifty-eight, actually"

"Really?" asked the girl still not totally convinced "I thought Stan was like seventy or something like that!"

"You did?" he asked a little alarmed "Do we look that old?"

"No, no, no" was the quick answers he got "You guys look fine"

Then she turn awkwardly to the window trying to suppress a laugh. Our nerd-old man decided it was better to leave the subject behind and move to another topic

"So, you never really told me what did you do"

"Me and my friends when to trash the Northwest Mansion. We use graffiti and broke some windows… you would think the richest family in town would have a better security system!"

"They got you"

"There were six of us"

"Why did you did it anyway?"

"Ever since their fancy party, The Northwest blame Dipper for 'corrupting their little girl' she said rolling her eyes "And since he is a minor they have been taking vengeance on anyone related to him. They do things like Sending people to tell tourists to not get into the Shack or stealing the cable form Soos´s grandma. But we can fix those kind of things easily"

"So what did they do now?" he asked not being sure about wanting to know the answers, what it they messed up with the kids or Stanley, what if they hurt someone they both cared about?

"They spread a rumor that said that Lumberjacks are evil cause they cut down trees with no remorse or conscience and people is actually listening to that old scumbag Preston!" and she kicked the glove compartment with her muddy boot leaving a stain on it "My dad is a lumberjack!"

The man kept driving with his mouth sealed shut, there was little he could do or advise her. His experience with human interaction and revenge were very limited in this dimension and he suspected that anything he may offer would do more harm than good. So he decided to let Stanley handle the situation, he suspected the girl would come to him once they get to the Shack

"So" he said pretending to look for something on the road "A lumberjack, huh? What did you said your name was?"

"Wendy" answered her with her arms still crosses over herself in an hostile attitude "Wendy Corduroy"

"Is, per chance, Dan Corduroy your father"

Wendy snorted covering her mouth. To this reaction, the old man turned quickly to her direction wondering what could be remotely funny

"What?"

"Sorry, Man is just so long since anyone call him just Dan"

"Why? How do people call him now?"

"Manly Dan" said the girl trying stop laughing for is well known by anyone that by suppressing them, laughs, even the smallest ones, can grow into irrational proportions "Sorry, Sorry… it´s so weird to hear just his name"

"Well he was just Dan back in my day" answered Mr. Pines changeless "I suppose he earned the title after I was gone"

The girl stopped giggling and let a soft sight left her mouth

"He is been manly since I was a little baby"

The two passengers on the car became quiet once again. The only sound being heard was the soft purring of the engine.

"There was a young lady he was completely mad for, one who worked on the hardware store… did they…?"

"Yeah, dad totally married mom and had four kids"

"That´s great!" said Stanford smiling wide "And how is she?"

The silence that felt this time was not like the others at all. Poor young Wendy tried and failed to keep a wide, sincere smile as her spirit dropped all the way to her feet

"She passed away" she said gloomily lowering her gaze

"I am sorry, I shouldn´t have ask" replied the man with a sad tone on his voice not daring to look her in the eye. Silence again. Heavy and uncomfortable

"My mom passed away too, if that helps"

It didn´t, of course. But he had nothing else to offer her and it had been all his fault she had recalled some sad memories

"Actually" he continued "that´s what I think. it's been more than thirty years since I last saw her and the woman was not that young when it happened so I just assumed she had… died"

There is no need to say he wasn´t helping at all. Wendy felt like she should say something but was too confused to even came with a proper answer. She could not even understand what was happening! There she was in a well-known car with a complete stranger who had just randomly asked her about her family, and not only that, she actually told him everything he wanted to know.

"Why don't you just ask Stan" she said and wondered if all the questioning were not just a nice interrogatory to see if she was safe for his family

"I can´t just go and ask Stan about our parents!" he said more distressed than before "And if she is alive for some strange miracle, what can I do about it? I can´t go on a visit! Seeing me would kill her for good! Can you imagine seeing your long lost son after thirty years?!"

And his hold on the wheel became stronger and he grabbed his hair with his left hand

"Maybe it would do nothing" said Wendy trying to calm him down. Experience told her that upset men were not meant to drive "Stan pretend to be you for all these years…"

"He didn´t fooled her" he said cutting her out "He couldn´t have"

He took a big breath and forced himself calm. The young lady next to him neither did or say a thing about his statement because she conclude it was probably right.

The funny thing about all this was how weirdly it came together. There was no real reason for Stanford to tell her anything! After all, he was angry for being forced to go to the station and get her in the first place, he was a busy man with many important things to do… and undo. This whole thing was a loss of time that could end in disaster!

Yet there he was, talking casually to a teenager who had a very close relationship with his family, and he knew nothing about.

"What else can that phone of yours do?" he asked changing the subject again.

"It can play music"

"Any kind of music?"

"You name it"

He thought about it for a minute. He wasn't sure if he wanted to hear something from his youth or something more contemporary to study how far music industry had gone in the past three decades. At end he went for something a little more sweet:

"There is a song I heard Mabel singing, Dipper said it was a stupid girly-song but he knows all the lyrics! I got it stuck in my head for two complete days and it annoys me that I haven´t even heard the real one!"

It may sound like a ridiculous excuse for trying to change the conversation topic and forget the awkwardness of the previous one, but he was dead serious. He couldn´t stand having something on his mind he didn't quite know or understand because of a terrifying previous experience he wasn´t planning to share, ever.

"Can you sing it" asked the girl with a smile on her face and a phone ready to record on her hand

"Not really" He answered and there went her plans to show a nerd old man signing to his friends "but it says something about a party, and girls, and being a queen…"

"Queens of the disco?" she raise an eyebrow "My dad loves that song! Hold it there I got it here"

When she pressed play, the car was soon filled with up beating tempo of the classic 80´s hymn sang by an old pop icon. Stanford had to bite his tongue to keep himself for singing but he was completely sure he liked Mabel´s and Dipper´s version way more. The song end and the music fade. And silence fall upon them both once again, yet this time the Author was smiling and so were the teenager next to him. One because he liked the song and the other because she found it very amusing.

Both of them, however, understood very well that a situation such as this would probably never repeat itself. It was very unlikely for them to became friends at all! What had happened here was just an answer to a desperate call they both had made without even knowing. One that beg for someone who for a very brief moment could listen to a handful of words that would never be brought back ever again, someone who would not judge or ask further, or even try to fix a thing. And they both were ok with that: he would return to his research and his more lighthearted adventures with a new discovered nephew, while she will come back to the old register and her acts of vandalisms characteristic of the youth.

"Yo, author" she exclaimed "You made a wrong turn"

"I confess I am a little lost…"

"Just follow the sings, man, Stan place them all over the place so people can find the Shack easily"

"That´s the problem" he answered carelessly "These are Stan´s glasses, I can´t see anything that clear"

Wendy kept silence in disbelief

"Maybe I should drive, Mr. Pines"

 **:::**

The End

 **:::**

I donpt have a real reason or excuse for this. I just wanted Ford to have a nice conversation with someone without going throught the wholefamily drama. I really do wish he and Stan would talk about their issues, of course! But also wanted him to have a little "out of the family" interation. I choose Wendy because I like the idea of this old nerd to be as fond of the teenager as Stan is. I hope the result was fine

Thank you

P.S. Also, sorry if there is any typos or mistakes. I always read proof my work but I am also a very distracted person so there are probably a few here.


End file.
